


No Title Found

by TheDump



Category: Original Work
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/F, F/M, break the wall breaking the wall, unusual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:46:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6728209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDump/pseuds/TheDump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello! Due to budget restrictions we unfortunately couldn't have a title! Not like I had one planed, or anything... yeah. Well, step on up. Prepare for the unusual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Title Found

Something unusual happens.

There, that saved a few chapters. What? Expecting some buildup? Some sort of multi-chapter breakdown of the slow introduction of more and more peculiarity? Well due to budget cuts we can’t do that. You are instead going to get the bare bones of my story, and what remains of the dead corpse known as my artistic integrity. What’s that? You want a character? Well yes, I suppose I should get to him now.

Something unusual happens to Lewis. 

That is right. Our characters name is Lewis. You want to know more about him? Oh golly, it is almost like you need to know about a character to emotionally attach yourself to them. Well give me just a minute. I can fix that with minimum effort and money.

Lewis likes oranges.

There, perfect! It is truly a masterful work. Just think about it. The metaphors, THE METAPHORS. He likes oranges because he… uh… just think about the metaphors! Okay, okay… I am caving. Lewis liking oranges, while true, is an unimportant detail. Let’s try and get into the grit of this character.

Lewis likes Suzy.

Wait no, we don’t know Suzy yet. Back it up, back it up.

Lewis likes anything but apples.

Look at that, a true insight. I can already hear those gears turning in your head reader. Now what shall we do next? Well we did mention a Suzy didn’t we? Hm, we will get to her later. Very later, or maybe very soon?

Suzy is a girl, of course.

Look at that fine twist. You thought it was coming later, but I tricked you! Do you feel obsolete under my incredible intellect? You can expect more twists and turns later if we can fit it in. We are practically cutting corners we didn’t know existed.

Lewis’ name was not always Lewis.

Oh what do we have here? A mystery! From my experience I can firmly say a mystery is always a good thing. Unless of course, we never solve it… Hmm, do we actually want to cut that corner? I guess you’ll have to find out.

Lindsey likes Suzy.

Oh my, a rival? What an interesting tale I weave, or would have weaved. Excuse me as I bitterly cry over my lost chance at a magnum opus. This story was suppose to be so much more. It was suppose to be a deep, intellectual story about love gained and lost. Self-discovery! Drama! UNUSUAL!

Suzy doesn’t like Lewis or Lindsey.

Well, it doesn’t seem like Lewis or Lindsey are having just as bad luck.

Lewis hates Lindsey

Lindsey hates Lewis

I hope you are grateful for that. Do you not know how many cuts are necessary for two in a row? We can’t put anymore periods in the story now. I hope you didn’t need those. Punctuation is for people who need organization, and I don’t need organization.

They want Lewis to be like Lindsey

Hmm, who is they? Well, they is purposely ambiguous and not just another cut corner. I swear, pinky promise? Oh right, I am words on a page… I don’t have pinkies. Well, if I were to meet you on the “other side” , I’ll be sure to give you the pinky handshake.

Lindsey wants to be like Lewis

Ah yes, deeper into our characters psych. Lets keep this ball rolling.

Lewis can’t be Lindsey because he wants to be Lewis

I sold a great deal of my fine antique sculptures to bring you that compound sentence. Next thing to go will probably be a kidney.

Suzy used to be their friend

Past tense, I wonder what happened? Not like I don’t know I am just trying to get you to think, reader. Are you thinking? I hope so.

They blame each other for why Suzy doesnt like them

We are cutting the apostrophes now. We just can’t afford this kind of proper grammar. Besides, these are simple sentences. You won’t struggle too much, right, reader?

Lewis and Lindsey felt empty

What do you think of the story so far reader? That is a rhetorical question since we cannot have an actual conversation. Well, I am going to assume you said “Oh golly, it’s just what I always wanted!”.  You might be starting to notice a distinct lack of unusual, lets fix that.

Suddenly everything was dark

There we go! That is just the amount of unusual we need for this peculiar story of metaphors and lack of grammar.

Lewis and Lindsey were overtaken by it

Oh, well… this doesn’t bode well.

**_HEY, hurry it up in here you fucking money pit._ **

Er, hello sir…

**_The fuck you doing in here that’s costing me so much dough?_ **

Nothing! I cut every corner imaginable! 

**_Just finish this shit up so we can ship it._ **

We can’t rush the story sir…

**_Dont give me that fucking tone again Morris. I took  you in when no one else would publish for your sorry ass story. Be glad I am giving you anything._ **

Is he gone? That was… Uh, my boss. Lets just pick up the pace a little.

Darkness is very scary

Just a little faster.

Darkness is no longer scary

Perfect.

A hand is reaching out for him

Oh yes, the mysterious hand. My favorite part now disgustingly simplified. 

A hand pulling them out into the light

Just a little further.

An illuminated face

Yes, YES.

A smile

Are you reading this reader? Are you as excited as I am?

He wasn’t alone

. . . .

Lewis loved Lindsey

. . . .

Lewis loved himself

And there you have it. While it is not what I had envisioned in my mind. I finally did it. It is going to be published… I am going to be an author. So, reader, what did you think? Another rhetoric question. You are no doubt confused, that’s understandable. Even if this story is confusing, grammatically incorrect, and very minimalist, I am still proud. Like a father at his sons game where he scored for the other team. Thank you reader for witnessing my disaster piece. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was REALLY experimental. Sort of a meta-humor, metaphorical experience. Tell me what you think


End file.
